This is so not a pretty post...

Have you ever wondered about the name of my blog? Artfully arranged disarray... basically a mess, like a basket full of clutter with some pretty fabric on top to hide what's inside... that's me. I try to look good on the outside. If I know you are coming to visit, I will definitely be tidying up. On my blog, I try to be upbeat, encouraging, and write about pretty things. I always have a pretty picture or two. But this is definitely not a pretty post.


Ever since early adolescence, I have focused a good bit of time and attention on my hair. My hair is thick, and right now sort of long, and ends up everywhere in the bathroom when I brush it. I have found that I can't wash my hair more than two or three times a week. It just works better and looks better that way. I am somewhat fanatical about keeping my hairbrush clean and clear of hair. In the shower, I have this habit I developed some years ago. As I am washing and rinsing my hair, I gather all the loose hairs that end up on my hands and save them on the glass door. When my shower is done, I swirl them into a little bundle to throw away. I would rather dispose of them in the trash, than have them clogging up the drain. {I told you this was not a pretty post.}

Friday morning, I was reading my Bible, praying, and planning my day. I had ended my reading in Psalm 139...

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
~Psalm 139:23-24

I hadn't planned to wash my hair that day, but I felt led by the Lord to do so. I felt that He was telling me to "be cleansed". I cooperated and went to take a shower.

I was a little surprised, as I showered, that water began to build up around my ankles. I wondered why the shower was draining so slowly. Why was there a clog?

When I was done, I wiped down the shower walls. I decided to pull back the drain cover. I was suddenly, unexpectedly confronted by a black, slimy, smelly mess! I was shocked by what I pulled out of that drain. And disgusted. Handfuls of hair that over time had slipped, unnoticed, down the drain.

And I knew that I was looking at my own heart.

The stray hairs I capture during my shower as I run my hands through my hair, are like the little sins I confess as I go throughout my day. "Lord, forgive me for yelling at my kids." "Lord, I'm sorry I was weak and ate those cookies." "Forgive me, God, for being impatient with that clerk." I can feel good about myself because I am doing my best to live a godly life. Right?

Meanwhile, down the drain, over time those hairs that escaped were like the sins building up in my heart and putrifying in my soul. To a Holy God, sin is sin, and it's all bad. Being blind to sin doesn't erase it. The disgusting mess in the drain was like the unconfessed sins in my heart... judgement, pride, self-righteousness, laziness, fear, worry, unbelief, selfishness, unforgiveness... ugly and offensive.

In that moment, I thanked my Sovereign Lord for showing me the darkness of my heart, for bringing it into His glorious Light and Truth. I confessed. I repented. I rejoiced. And I put on gloves and cleaned the shower. I was cleansed.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
~1John 1:9

The same day, in another state, a sweet sister-in-Lord was overtaken by the darkness. She attempted to end her own life. I have no idea what pain, anguish, and circumstances led to her act. My heart is breaking for my friend and her family. I am praying because I don't know what else to do.



But I do know that our enemy wants us bound and defeated. He wants us to believe lies and turn away from the Truth of God's unfailing love. None of us is immune to his snares. In our own way, each of us is a mess. Any of us can fall into a pit.

So if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!
~1Corinthians 10:12

I know that apart from Jesus, I can do nothing. I am thankful for His saving grace and His mercies that are new every morning. I am thankful that He loves me enough to show me my sin, and then He forgives me when I repent. This is comforting to know, because over time, my drain is bound to become clogged again. Because I am a mess.

Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afriad. The LORD, the LORD is my strength and my song; He has become my salvation.
~Isaiah 12:2

Each Tuesday, Emily at Chatting at the Sky unwraps the gifts of ordinary days. I am linking up with her this week.